my need to be alone…

As i stand here with my need to be alone, for my time of sanity, i keep wondering what it is like to be close out on the world.. this is essentially to get in touch with myself, to make my thoughts sink in and thrash some which don’t really matter. As i ignore messages and calls which at times hurts the one on the other side, i attribute it to my rather detached self and reserved nature. This side of mine needs no explanation to others as this is a part of me which requires no understanding..

Bored after a point of time with respect to people and things, i become a grumpy version of myself which at times become intolerable.. not only for others but to my own self.. The next day is a different story, after a rejuvenated sleep, the very essence of my staying and moving on..

There is a thin line between fine and falling.. i can go both extremes, where nothing seems like it can go wrong and at other times, i am dropping down dead.. Mocked by my own reasoning to both staying alive and drowning, i try to face my weaknesses.. Ignoring the truth that lies in front of me, I contemplate otherwise but in vain.. Lost in my thought, lost in everything, i forget where i started and wonder where i am now…

Mixed feelings one contradicting the other tries to fill my empty spaces just like everything else… Do i stay? What do i do? Questions that have been left unanswered trickle my brain trying to make a choice.. A choice which needs to be decided soon… and so it shall remain cornered and accumulated, buried and closed.. until next time!

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