being myself…

being myself, thats what i do best.. everyone makes mistakes and things go wrong.. we can’t plan for everything and there is always an element of surprise and its not a home run all the time..

i have not been so perfect, but i have been truthful with no secrets and very private life.. its not an ideal life but those are my choices… i have made my set of sacrifices so that others don’t have make theirs.. and i think to myself may be thats what made it different.. we can’t take things for granted and we have to live with the fear of uncertainty that everything can be taken from us in an instant..  but in the end, thats the price we pay for choosing the people in our lives..

everything i did, i did for a reason or what i thought was a good reason and that things are going to be ok.. and thats how it works.. it always does..


relationships as i see now..

these days, relationships are becoming harder by the minute.. conversations are a bunch of texts from dawn to day break.. people do not talk face to face even when they are in the same room. they spend different lives in different rooms with occasional meet at the dining table or when watching television. phone calls have become platforms for arguments due to messages that are misunderstood or doesn’t convey the real meaning.. there are elements that are absent when using messages including feelings that have become subliminal messages over emoji’s..

sex became easy and the word “love” is constantly used out of context and often misunderstood..  insecurities drive the way people run their lives now with jealously being a primary factor at the pinnacle of accumulated habits. “trust” remains as a word that is hard to come by and not recognized by many even as they are blinded by fake options… broken promises that often can be revisited becomes the only point in a series of arguments..  people need to learn to communicate problems (dropping hints do not work) and negotiate solutions rather than staying stuck in the blame game.. you are bound to get hurt in the process but becoming, being and staying hurt seems to be very natural these days and leaving becomes the only option people want to take..

sad, but true, so if you have something that’s worth it, don’t take it for granted, fight for it and try not to let it go..

A Child’s Desire

Teacher: How old are you? (I ask a little girl who smiled when I said good morning to the class..)

Student: I am 10…

Teacher: What is it that you want to be?

Student: People ask me the same question everywhere… at home, at school..
Would you believe, if I said, I want to be a bird?

Teacher: (Baffled at her answer) I ask why?

Student: With my wings, I shall fly..

Teacher: Why do you want to fly?

Student: So that I can watch things below..

Teacher: What do you see below?

Student: I see people working day in and day out
Making money with their knowledge that they have gained or by other means..
People hurting people in the name of love, religion, status or power..

Here we are looking at academic books, static pages that remain the same even after years..
With pages we read when we prepare for exams..

Asking the question you just did is invoking my feelings for the future..
The fear for career,
People doing repetitive task day after day..
Judgemental colleagues wanting to stamp over at any given opportunity
Relationships taken for granted

The world doesn’t need me or my timeless memories…

What I want is to live NOW..
I don’t want to remember a day beyond today
I don’t want to remember the days I haven’t lived..
The time is now and I want to be in this very moment..

Which is why I want to be a bird, breaking off when I want to and come back when I want to..

Teacher: (She smiles and takes her seat and I am awestruck THINKING….) 

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Posted for Amaara Foundation